Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Blessings Abundant - Even in Hard Times

The last month and a half has been the hardest in my life.  The pain and anger I have felt have outweighed any other emotion at any given point in my life.  This period of time feels harder on me than when my brother died.  I don't feel like I am myself right now.  My concentration is shot.  My focus on any given task seems fleeting.  I've been shot emotionally and it feels like I'm just waiting to bleed out.  I don't like this sensation.  I want to find me in all this.  I want to see the happy things again and not just wait for the next heart wrenching e-mail to come my way.  Most of all, I want my family back the way it should be, but that doesn't look likely.

I'm thankful for my husband through this all.  He has been so strong, loving, and accepting of me through all this.

My mother, she is one amazing woman.  She has every right to be mad, angry, or bitter in this situation, but relying on God, she is choosing to love.  She is a woman that I aspire to be like.  If I am ever considered a fourth as fantastic as my mother, I will feel that I achieved much with my life.

So I want to take some time today to focus on the positive.  I have several friends who have told me recently that they are expecting.   One is even expecting twins and another is starting their adoption process.  It truly is excited.

A dear friend of mine recently proposed to his beloved and she said yes.

Another friend just tied the knot and there are a few more planning on getting married later on this year.

My sis-in-law has made an offer on a house she loves.  Bevan and I plan on house hunting later this year.

My brother is starting to do really well in school.

My youngest sister is one smart princess.

My middle sister seems to be loving her job, dog, and place over on the west side of the state.

My brother is finding that God is providing for his family even when it looks like his current job will end soon due to city budget cuts.

My youngest brother is full of life and always knows how to make me smile.

My sis-in-law is enjoying her job and motherhood suits her very well.  She loves her daughter so very much and my beautiful niece is growing healthy and strong.

My mum-in-law is an amazing woman and I am greatly thankful for her kindness to me.

My father-in-law is a man of integrity.

I have a roof over my head and food in the pantry.

The sun has decided to come out and it is finally starting to feel like Spring.

I enjoy my job.

I have many talented and wonderful friends.

God is good and He provides for me.  He comforts me in my time of pain.  God is in control.