From One of My Students:
"You are trapped in a room with four walls, ceiling, and floor all three foot thick. The room has no windows or doors. The only things in the room with you are a mirror and a table. How do you get out?"
"You use the mirror to look behind you, to see what you saw. You pick up the saw and saw the table in half. Knowing that two halves make a whole - you put the two halves back together and use the 'hole to get out."
"Two spies want to get in an enemy's military base.In order to get in they have to give the correct countersign to the guard at the gate after he gives them the sign. So they wait hidden nearby the gate so that they will overhear the countersign from another soldier.
One soldier comes and the guard gives the sign: "6".The soldier answers "3".The guard lets him pass. Another soldier comes.The guard says "12" and the soldier gives the answer "6".The guard lets him pass. So, the first spy goes at the gate and the guard asks says "10".The spy, sure that he knew the answer as he was, says "5". Immediately, the guard shoots him dead.
Then the other spy, who saw that the other spy was killed when he gave the countersign, had now understood what the right answer would be, whatever the guard's sign was.So, he walks to the gate and the guard says "8".The spy gives the correct answer and the guard lets him in. What was the answer that the spy gave?"
"The answer is "5". The countersign is always the number of letters of the number that the guard gives. ("six" has 3 letters and "twelve" has 6 letters. After the two soldiers passed, the first spy thought the answer was the half of the number that the guard gave (like what you also might have thought), so he answered 5 when the guard said 10, which was wrong as ten has 3 letters)."
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
There were three medieval kingdoms on the shores of a lake. There was an island in the middle of the lake, over which the kingdoms had been fighting for years. Finally, the three kings decided that they would send their knights out to do battle, and the winner would take the island.
The night before the battle, the knights and their squires pitched camp and readied themselves for the fight. The first kingdom had 12 knights, and each knight had five squires, all of whom were busily polishing armor, brushing horses, and cooking food. The second kingdom had twenty knights, and each knight had 10 squires. Everyone at that camp was also busy preparing for battle. At the camp of the third kingdom, there was only one knight, with his squire. This squire took a large pot and hung it from a looped rope in a tall tree. He busied himself preparing the meal, while the knight polished his own armor.
When the hour of the battle came, the three kingdoms sent their squires out to fight (this was too trivial a matter for the knights to join in).
The battle raged, and when the dust had cleared, the only person left was the lone squire from the third kingdom, having defeated the squires from the other two kingdoms, thus proving that the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides.
Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach?
Because they have sine and cosine to get a tan and don't need the sun!
"My life is all arithmetic", the young woman explained. "I try to add to my income, subtract from my weight, divide my time, and avoid multiplying..."
There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.
The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?"
Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. then the blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"
Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00
The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question?"
Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.